too far ... then not far enough

As the title of my blog suggests, I have a tendency to complain about the work involved in training. When my coach announces the day's workout, I will think to myself: "that's too hard, I don't want to, nobody in their right mind would do this, why am I here again?" Then I'll make it through the intervals, and desperately want to go lie on the couch and eat my weight in food, but there are still strides and core work to be done. So I complain some more. The long run is a particularly easy target for my reproach ... too hot, too tiring, too much, too far.

But never do I complain more than when I can't run. After my 24k trek the other day, things started going awry with my left leg. At Wednesday's workout, my left adductor was so aggravated that I was getting a sharp pain with every step. I was told to relax and take a couple days off.

A couple days off?! Suddenly, I am full-on yearning for a good run. There is nothing in the world I want to do more than lace up my shoes and exhaust myself with a tough workout. My legs literally twitch, they want to move so badly.  I take ice baths, go for a massage, stretch, foam roll ... all in hopes of getting back out there. At night I dream of running. The thought of an injury derailing my training fills me with anxiety. I whine to boyfriend. I don't pray, but I consider taking up religion so I can do so (it's only been 36 hours at this point).

And then, Hallelujah, the leg starts to feel better.

But wait, that means going out today. When I'm tired and it's hot and I have other things I could be doing. My brain is there before I am even conscience of it: too hard, too hot, too far, I don't want to.

There's a lesson here, of course. But let's be honest, running is always going to be hard, so I'm never going to stop complaining about it. The truth is that I kind of enjoy my complaining (probably much more than those around me). It is satisfying to know that, even though it was hard and I didn't feel like doing it, I did. It implies that I can keep making it through, even though there will ALWAYS be a reason to give up. Just like the other love of my life, running can drive me completely crazy ... but life is so much better when it's around.


Week 4 Recap:

M: off day - yoga class
TU: 12k
W: 14k (5 x 1k hard)
TH: 30min elliptical, BodyPump
F: off
SA: 10k treadmill
SU: 18k

Week total: approx. 54k